Santa Clara University

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The Big Q

A dialogue on the big questions college students face. Like The Big Q now on Facebook to stay updated on the latest post and winners.

The following postings have been filtered by tag clingy. clear filter
  •  Lean on Me

    Monday, May. 12, 2014

    The first 20 student comments on “Lean on Me” win a $5 Yiftee gift to a local business. Use your gift to try out that new flavor of ice cream or spend it on two slices of your favorite pizza. Entries must be received by midnight, Sunday, May 25th, 2014. Subscribe to the blog (by RSS or by e-mail in the right hand column) for updates.

    **DISCLAIMER: All characters and scenarios in this post are fictional.**

    Patrick is a sophomore at a large university in Washington. He’s from Arizona, so he is paying out of state tuition. Patrick is fortunate that his parents are able to pay for his college tuition and apartment rent. However, Patrick had to find a way to pay for other essentials like food, textbooks, and any entertainment. As a result, he attained two jobs: peer tutoring and working at the on-campus Jamba Juice.

    One day during sophomore year, Patrick finds out that his best friend from high school, Jordan, is going through rough times back in Arizona. Jordan lost his basketball scholarship at his university because he was caught doing drugs. As a result, he wasn’t able to continue paying tuition and had to drop out. In addition, his single mother can no longer afford to support him.

    Patrick convinces Jordan to come out to Washington, so he can get away from his recent past and get onto a new track. Jordan crashes on Patrick’s couch for a couple of weeks. He has no money and no job, so Patrick begins to support him until he can get back onto his feet. He works longer hours and is busy all the time because of his two jobs and academics.

    Patrick talks to Jordan about getting a job. After a month, Jordan is able to get employed at a local restaurant. However, Jordan isn’t given many hours so he isn’t able to pay for many living expenses. Patrick tells Jordan to try and find another job, but it always seems like he is just hanging out while Patrick is at work or school, instead of actively looking.

    Patrick doesn’t know what to do. Jordan is his longtime best friend. However, Patrick knows he won’t be able to sustain his financial support for Jordan. What should Patrick do? What is best for Jordan’s future? Patrick’s? Is there a way Patrick can help Jordan get back on track, or is it up to Jordan now to figure it out? Is there something Patrick could have done earlier to avoid this situation entirely?

    Useful Resources:

    A Framework for Ethical Decision-Making

    How to Help Loved Ones in a Financial Crisis

    Mooching friends -- how to deal with them

    Photo by Amy available under a Creative Commons license.

  •  Claustrophobic

    Monday, Sep. 17, 2012
    Derek's roommate, Joey, is extremely clingy.
    The best college student comment on "Claustrophobic" wins a $100 Amazon gift certificate. Entries must be received by midnight, September 30. Finalists are selected by likes, so get your friends to like your comment. Subscribe to the blog (by RSS or by email in the right hand column) for updates.
     
    Derek is beginning his freshman year in college. Wanting to expand his social horizons, he had signed up for a random roommate assignment when it came time to register for housing. Now, several months after making that decision, he felt a little nervous as he moved the first boxes into his room. However, his roommate, Joey, had arrived before him, and he was quickly relieved to discover that Joey seemed “normal.”
     
    The two guys got dinner together the first night, and got to know each other a bit. Joey seemed friendly and didn’t have any obvious hygiene issues, so Derek felt like it was a good match! He had heard lots of roommate “horror stories,” and was thankful that he would not be added to that list.
     
    After the first couple weeks of classes, Derek signed up for the student government and quickly found a group of friends through that organization. Joey, however, was less proactive—he seemed to limit his free time to surfing the Internet, and began to make comments about feeling lonely and homesick. Derek felt bad for the guy, so he invited Joey to hang out in his new friend group as an opportunity to socialize and meet more people.
     
    As Joey began to tag along more and more, Derek started to realize that their personalities didn’t exactly mesh. Little things that Joey would do or say would rub Derek the wrong way, and he could tell that others in the group shared that sentiment. It began to be an obligation to invite Joey along to things, and nobody felt that they could completely be themselves with Joey around. Derek felt responsible for creating this tricky dynamic, and felt that he had to do something about it.
     
    Torn between being a good friend and feeling claustrophobic, Derek was faced with a tough decision. Should he stick it out for the rest of the year for Joey’s sake? Or, should he be honest and tell Joey that sometimes he wants a little space to hang out with his friends by himself?
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Photo by maverick253 available under a Creative Commons license on Google Images.