Santa Clara University

By Mitch Finley '73

As a lifelong Catholic who cherishes his faith above all else, I am saddened when I hear that someone I know has chosen to distance himself or herself from the Church, for whatever reason-to shift to another religious tradition or to give up on religion altogether. When I learn, however, that someone has chosen to return to the Church after a long absence, it's always a thrill for me, and I say a prayer of thanksgiving.

Defection rate holds steady

According to the empirical research of sociologist Fr. Andrew M. Greeley, most Catholics in the United States choose to remain in the Church as active members. This amounts to about 25 percent of the U. S. population, or some 60 million people. At the same time, it appears that about 15 percent of those who grew up Catholic no longer choose to think of themselves as such. They are, in other words, alienated from the Church. Greeley concludes from his research that this defection rate has not changed since 1960. This means that, conservatively speaking, some 9 million citizens of the U.S. are alienated Catholics.

At the same time, it seems that more often than we might think, alienated Catholics choose to come home. When I wrote my recently-published book, It's Not the Same Without You: Coming Home to the Catholic Church (Doubleday, 2003), my main interest was to find people who had come home to the Church and ask them to share their stories. First, I wanted to know how and why they became alienated Catholics.

I also wanted to hear their stories about returning to active participation in the life of the Church. The hundreds of stories I heard convinced me that coming home to the Church is a frequently unnoticed but astonishing phenomenon today. In all cases, including the SCU alums I cite in this article, I use fictitious names to protect the identities of those who shared their stories.

Various reasons for drifting away

My question about why Catholics become alienated from the Church received many responses. Some told stories of adolescent rebellion that extended into adulthood through indifference. I heard stories from people who drifted away from the Church during their high school or college years, then returned in their 30s or 40s. Joe, for example, recalled attending a Jesuit high school in the 1960s, followed by two years at a Jesuit university where conflict with the faculty advisor to the student newspaper over a Catholic doctrine led him to transfer to a state university for his junior year.

"After that, I didn't go near a Catholic Church for 30-some years," Joe recalls. "My wife was Presbyterian, so I went to Church with her by default more than anything else. Then a few years ago, I realized that I just wasn't happy with that. I read a little classified ad in our local newspaper inviting lapsed Catholics to 'come home to the Church,' and something clicked. I just realized that I wasn't happy with being away from the Church. So I attended an informal evening meeting at a nearby parish, and the following Easter I formally returned to the Church. Soon after that, my wife joined me and became a Catholic, too."

Editor's Note: Mitch Finley '73 is the author of more than 30 books including The Joy of Being Catholic (Crossroad), and For Men Only: Strategies for Living Catholic (Liguori). This article is loosely based on his most recent book, It's Not the Same Without You: Coming Home to the Catholic Church (Doubleday, 2003).