Justin's Blog

A Wide Array of Wealth

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:10:34 PST

Dear Justin,

I write my final entry to you, retrospecting on these events that have occurred and made up your first experience in college. You had bad times, you had hard times, yet good times outweighed these all. You arose out of all that high school drama some carried onto this university campus, and illustrated more maturity as an adolescent. Although I admit, the beginning of this year had its fall backs, come Winter quarter you organized yourself very efficiently.

Now as this spring season reaches its end, you epitomize the developing individual opening the mind for new knowledge, gallivanting off the taken path, exploring ideas you have subconsciously avoided due to fear. But, demonstrate bravery in hopes that as years progress you will encounter situations with a glowing confidence; you can do anything, as long as you have the faith pull through it.

Rise up to the legacy your parents have afforded you, and do not disappoint yourself. This summer, work hard and diligently in order to become prepared for the future events of Sophomore year.

Thank you, blogSCU for granting me the opportunity to express my thoughts as a prospective student. I pray your programs only works to help next year's Freshman students adjust well to their new conditions as it did for me. Have a great, and safe summer!

"The whole of life, from the moment you are born

to the moment you die, is a process of learning."

-Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)

~Justin Lawrence Hester

Distinctions of Living and Loving

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:09:53 PST

Dear Ian,

Our discussion about summer plans yesterday led me to wonder, does life divide our interests into hobbies and passions? I am convinced that our leisure activities most commonly serve as outlets for everyday tribulation. However, to participate in a passion, which involves time and commitment functions as more than just a mere outlet.

Your music operates as one of those many defining factors determining who you are, who you have become, and the episodes of your future. The Ian I see around Santa Clara would feel unappreciated for me or any other soul to recognize your music as just a mere means of releasing day-to-day steam. Music influences your life, much how skateboarding, knowledge, and dance influence mine.

Understanding this difference, you have granted me to comprehend such an important creed for life: a profession cannot remain identified as a hobby, no more than a personality trait could stand alone as just an emotion we experience every so often. All I can say on my behalf extends my gratitude, for this summer will exist as a summer to remember.

College has exercised my mind to break the sanctuaries of my ignorance, and branch out to these new ideas and creeds. Have a great summer, and I pray to see you again next Fall quarter, well equipped in all the development you have achieved in your passions.

Live to love,

~Justin L. Hester

Martial Progression

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Thu, 29 May 2008 06:43:37 PST

Dear Kyle,

I finally landed a back flip this quarter! When I landed it in the lawn beside Kenna Hall, I thought you and I trying so hard to land trick moves on the Bellarmine football field. All those failed attempts had me so unmotivated, which practically distinguished the integrity in my move. But, now I can say I have accomplished this feat.

Throughout this week I have been progressing moderately, now working on 540s and aerials as well. I pray you have been doing well. You will be graduating from Bellarmine this year, and I know you will be great in college. Come this summer, I am definitely sure we will spend time before the upcoming fall season. Just spending quality time both now as college students.

Also, did you hear about the skimming scam in San Jose! Recently, I had watched a news report stating San Jose residents have lost money from their debit accounts from individuals copying their cards with those magnetic devices we used to read about. I find it so hilarious that the world seems to revolve so quickly, or how such meticulous details of our lives can connect to the public mass.

Have a great last few days of senior year, and have the greatest graduation any senior high school student could celebrate!

Magpagmahal Kaibigan,

~J. L. Hester

Prom

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Wed, 28 May 2008 06:43:09 PST

Dear Stephanie,

I would have to admit, Saturday might remain as one of the worst nights of my life. I cannot believe I wasted all of that time, expecting to enjoy both your first prom as well as mine! You spent the entire night bickering of how you could not take the guy you wanted and simultaneously had the intention of allowing me to have a great time.

Honestly, I have rethought my personality in granting favors for those whom I appear to only remain as an acquaintance. I am convinced a true friend would have made some sort of quality effort to enjoy the night, not simply for me, but for yourself: Saturday was your night!

I canceled one of the greatest rave events I had already bought tickets for just to uphold my promise to you, only to find I had my expectations shot down.

Truly, I am sorry to have waster your night, as well as mine; I still am capable of being friends with you, but do not get mad at me for your attitudes, and situations I could not control. Memorial day felt gloomy both inside and out, and I will never forget my first prom...

~Justin L. Hester

College Suddenly

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:10:40 PST

Dear Mrs. Taylor,

They say the heat makes people crazy. Such a harsh, sudden change catches almost every individual off guard. Out of these first three quarters of college, I would have to admit this Spring Quarter has served as the most growth and development for me as an adolescent.

The heat has pressed me to spend more of my time outdoors, avoiding the entrapment I previously felt in my dorm room. As a result of this transition, I have become more efficient in my academic objectives, and formulating more time to participate in my own leisure activities.

However, I would like to induce from my observations some of the friends made here have mutated into entities I avoid in becoming. Too often have I found after the first quarter here at Santa Clara University, students have established a safety net of friends and fellowships, who have remained the “click” of association—that being, fraternities, sororities, floor mates, etc.

I held the disposition that coming to college, the teenage ways of limiting oneself to groups would not carry on to a university lifestyle. Unfortunately, much as it had existed at Bellarmine, basketball players travel with basketball players, fraternities prioritize the brothers over others, drinkers feel comfortable with the drinkers, non-drinkers maintain friendships with non-drinkers, while merely a select few travel out of the typical agenda to meet someone new without discrimination.

I realize I myself even became situated in the comforts of ideas and theologies I know, and have known. Because of this fault, this sudden wave of heat has almost motioned me to melt this ice for a personality. Eight months in college, and I have only begun to truly learn in the past two: learn how to study, learn how to socialize even learn how to listen far more intently. Since the beginning of April, I have discovered an interest in billiards, revived my ambitions for breakdancing thanks to the admirable Arturo, and a enthusiasm in hearing both sides of the Democratic party's campaigns rather than allowing my favoritism to cripple me narrow-minded.

If I could summarize my first year experience away from home, and to advise prospective students or college students here who may still have room to prospect, I am convinced college serves as a change quite identical to the seasons of a year. Whether one favors the spirit of a Christmas winter or the ornate sentiment of an April spring, life intrudes in presenting the difficult temperatures of that sudden summertime. And for those who live in December, be warned, no scarf or winter coat can prepare you here, nor can the smiles granted from Spring tulips or daisies help you avoid the dangers of dehydration. No, I can only express with all honesty, to experience as well as appreciate college, you must come properly dressed with an attire you might not always feel comfortable with, expanding to mature in order to beat the heat with a cool, new attitude.

They say the heat makes people crazy; weatherman says it's bound to be even hotter tomorrow.

~Justin L. Hester

Congrats!

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:38:16 PST

Dear Theo,

You did a great job at Mr. RLC the other night. You deserve mine as well everyone else's kudos for the sportsmanships you presented up there on stage. I for one would like to note my admiration for the charisma you displayed in truly being yourself: Theopholus. The decision you made to express the inner sentiments you possess connect to me as a form of bravery, even while the judges as you stated looked at you with peculiar stares.

I could not find another individual, Mr. or Ms. to capture the realest identity of Unity's RLC like you have over these past quarters. Practically everyone in McLaughlin and Walsh marched out there to support you, because they could all agree with the image you present. You exist as the profession of Unity we would strive for, and I would like to let you know that I pray you continue to live a fulfilling life, serving this country and its citizens in many more ways that one could comprehend.

High Five Mr. Unity,

~Justin L. Hester

Mapangmahal Kaibigan

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 02 May 2008 04:21:47 PST

Dear Philippines,

You exist as my mother, my homeland: but, the mother I never knew. The history of my country, rather country of origin, lies in my mind as a blank page. An empty canvas always looked so lonely, until tonight when I watched Santa Clara University's PCN.

I write to you, because I believe only you can comprehend my thoughts and cognitions. You always taught me culture serves as an important value in every man and woman's life, a lesson I would constantly hear, yet consciously forget to recognize its meaning.

The dance movements, the cultural attire, each and every performer's energy formulated an environment that finally made me somehow learn a little bit about me in less than two hours. Men would stomp the floor with authority, women would calm the mood with their beauty; I never knew how gorgeous you could have been unless I observed the other individuals you have inspired.

I used to think finding a girlfriend, or being talented in multiple realms of activities would make me exciting, even make my lifestyle more exciting. But, apparently you rise above all that. You were the girl I married years and years ago, before I even understood love. You gave me the abilities and magnificent qualities that I just had to rediscover. I am an adolescent filled with encouragement to know more about me, through you.

To join Barkada next year might become an awesome start for my journey to walk and breathe at my potential, as a Filipino and as a Filipino-American. No wonder I have been so down lately, feeling isolated and unimportant; I forgot to say “Magandang umaga,” to you this morning.

~Justin Gabriel Lawrence Bayan-on Hester

Another Friday...

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:26:01 PST

Dear Joelle,

My motivation to maintain the diversity in these online entries seems to have worn down, possibly from the relaxing weather present here this quarter. Tragically, however, I feel sad giving up my Popsicle ticket to you, because I did not want to miss out on one of the biggest raves this spring.

I made a promise to one of my friends that I would take her to her prom, which ironically falls on the same day as Pop. But, I will definitely attend the next event! As for now I have to prepare for midterms this weekend, so no visits back to San Jose for me.

Kudos to the participants of this Day of Silence,

~Justin H.

Electrifusion

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:01:24 PST

Dear DJ Starphaze,

I have been listening to your music profile on Myspace since that day I heard you playing at the Bronco. In all honesty, I feel honored to have met an upcoming music artist! I give my kudos to you, loving the hobby you do, and the music you create.

You share the same interests as myself, and I cannot stress how great it feels to know I am not alone. Only a select few individuals I meet here at SCU appreciate the light shows I give, and also enjoy the music you put so much time and effort into producing. I became irritated when many people had asked you to continue playing mainstream Hip Hop when the theme for that night centered around Trance and Techno.

One lesson I have learned in college sprouts from the ideology that these four years exist as a time to begin trying on the shoes of others, whether or not they might figuratively fit.

Second, I have induced from enough observation that to worry how people will interpret the unique hobbies you like to partake in only make those activities less fulfilling. For example, to skate simply because I aim to look stylish or cool in the eyes of others makes my execution of tricks less stressful. The words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Keep on playing that rhythm, bro!!

~Justin “Justin1llusi0n” Hester

Mythological Creatures

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:56:55 PST

Dear Jesska,

I finally finished my zodiac tribal tattoo, and it turned out more than amazing! I just wish you could have been the first person to have seen it; I know you would have loved it too.

All this warm, spring weather reminds me of the days as a little kid, gallivanting on the playgrounds, having no worries or concerns. Everywhere on campus, students socialize, play guitar, or just lay in the sun, as I envision a similar image of us as kids finding dandelions on the sidewalk. The quarter thus far receives my compliments as a wonderful spring quarter. Much as the weather illustrates, the days ahead appear bright.

I pray you are doing well, Jess Jess, I wish you well often.

Mahal kita...,

~Jus-tin L. Hester

Spring Quarter, Here I Come!

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:31:20 PST

Dear Enza,

Spring break went by quicker than I usually remember it, perhaps high school spring break just stands longer in duration than college spring break. But, nonetheless, I had an awesome partying with you for that almost half a week party. I pray you had an awesome birthday party, dancing the night up with family and friends.

A majority of this break, I merely spent the hours skating around San Jose, just relaxing in the cool spring weather; I passed by the new skate park nearby Lake Cunningham, and it looks amazing! Come summer time I will definitely be present there for the entirety of the season.

As this new spring quarter begins, I am glad to have classes to end my freshman year with an overwhelming strength to learn. I am currently taking a history course in the development of my homeland, the Philippines. Classes such as these serve as the example for why I stay in college, and why I continue to pursue my education.

I keep praying my first week flows by smoothly, and that I have an awesome spring quarter with you and all my newfound friends in San Jose and here at SCU!

Signed Truly Yours,

~Justin L. Hester

Have You Ever Considered

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 02:48:26 PST

Dear Dad,

An English professor of mine brought to my attention her interest in seeing I take up English as a possible major. In almost every direction I head, I encounter a friend or stranger acknowledge my writing here at Santa Clara University.

I have always been a modest individual, and as a writer I can already see that I might get a vast amount of attention, which I would not know how to handle. The topics I write upon in this online journal entry receive the recognition as “professional,” or “mature;” personally, I recognize them as the inherent truth.

I feel privileged to have this opportunity to attend the college you graduated from decades ago, almost as if I could see myself continuing the Hester legacy, as humorous that sounds when said aloud. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate everything you have done for me, even as I have not always been the perfect son; I would not see myself having any other father as caring as you.

As the next spring quarter arrives around the bend, I promise, dad, I will keep my hard work for you, and for the belief in myself that you and mom have instilled in me.

Wish me luck on my finals, Pops!!!

~Justin Lawrence Hester

Future Plans

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:53:23 PST

Dear Chris,

I have been trying to decide lately whether or not I should think about living in an apartment next year. I am convinced that living in the dorms again would not serve as a problem, since I am already accustomed to this lifestyle, although the number of other kids living with me often feels overwhelming.

The thought of living on my own seems exciting, and would become another new experience worth trying out. However, college in itself has served as a new experience already overwhelming, on the lines of being away from home.

It seems I still have time, but nonetheless I find myself contemplating the pros and cons of both decisions. I currently have an English research paper to begin working on in supplement of a final. So, cousin, I promise you after finals you and I will party like no other to celebrate the arrival of spring!

Salamat salahat,

~Justin L. Hester

That Green Light of Hope

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:43:54 PST

Dear Mrs. Chapman,

As the spring quarter, I feel I am obligated to stop by my old high school and visit you as I had promised. These last few weeks of the quarter have succeeded in keeping me busy, and I am irritated at this quarter and at myself for letting you down.

However, I know that I will make time just to take the bus and see you and your wonderful English class where my creativity all started in my junior year! Recently, I applied for spring courses, in hopes I had finally registered for English 1; I managed to fill in for the last seat of an 8:00 a.m. class. But, the most horrible event occurs while I am registering for classes, according to my e-mail confirmation receipt I did not completely finish all the steps to ensure my position in all my decisions.

Eventually what happens ruins my day as I find out that someone else confirmed their class registrations in my English 1 spot, as well as my spot in Art History 11. Now, I have to fill in two core requirements for classes I honestly do not have to take, but must in order to meet the minimum number of units necessary per school year.

Although, I admit I am embarrassed about this mishap, I doubt it will affect my performance in either of those classes should I have to wait until the future fall or winter quarter. I pray you are doing well, my favorite English teacher (arguably also Mr. Marcel as well), but I will never forget the encouragement you gave me to excel in this hobby of mine, and to take it with me to the college which made you the brilliant teacher you have become to this day.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Lead by Example

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:20:52 PST

Dear Grandpa,

Today, I cried just as deeply as the day you passed away and left this lifetime. I do not hope to exaggerate my experiences through the Tunnel of Oppression, but rather consecrate the facts as they had occurred.

I woke up today on this gloomy morning with the intention of experiencing the Tunnel of Oppression at the consideration of my dear friend, Garrison Dumas-Dyer. What I observed, however, I had expected beforehand as the concepts of body image, rape, homosexuality, and racial conflict have been no stranger to my knowledge in my short life. I found the statistics being displayed annoying at the times in the manner they would overwhelm the viewer; but, simultaneously, a sense of empathy ran alongside as well.

Walking firstly through the section dedicated to negative bodily images, I skimmed through the pictures, but did not absorb the entirety of that information. I am convinced my social apathy towards obesity derives from the useless propaganda for losing weight. From my biological understanding, cellular fat build-up in areas of the human body results in the events of stress or related sentiments, such as depression. In all honesty, am I incorrect to analyze how commercials that stress weight loss accomplish just the opposite for the viewer? If the American citizen relies on television, then the works of subliminal messaging will formulate within an individual the negative perspectives of physical beauty, when the messages from our families go completely unrecognized—that is, we always remain beautiful in their eyes. Therefore, I had no strong reaction to this first section.

However, the next section brought back many harsh memories of family members and friends for whom I express my sorrow. Placing a green ribbon on the wall available in the tunnel reminded me of incidents my best friend had previously undergone when she lived in San Jose. It bears no concern to anyone of the details in the manner, but I reflect in my own accord of the difficulties she endured. Reading and observing the signs in this section, I built up a sense of astonishment as to the honor of mankind; how can the datum exist that every two minutes someone in America will experience rape? How can a human being null his or her's empathy for another, and take advantage of him or her all in the duty of self-desire? I cann only conclude that a piece of my heart shattered in reminiscent of the ones I have held and known, wishing I could relieve them of their pains.

Watching the video of that homosexual victim grabbed my attention. Previously, I had no opinion on the ethics of homosexual relationships, as this community of individuals do not affect my lifestyle nor does it disembark me from the values I cherish in marriage. But, if I must make a stand at this moment, I am convinced that America thrives on the opportunity for each individual to have a freedom of personal living, so long as it does not harm the freedoms of others. That would end all I have to say of this matter.

At the end of the tunnel of oppression, I viewed a video on the “South of the Border” party, which made national news about Santa Clara University. As a minority, I am offended at the existence of stereotypes of how people use outlets to perceive a culture in the simplest lenses. Often ignorance serves as the source of my anger for these topics of discourse.

I walked out and passed through the Tunnel of Hope, and coincidently ran into Mr. Dumas-Dyer. I had trouble illustrating my attitude towards the events I had just experienced. I told him I would do my best to relate them in this online entry, so that I could clarify my standing viewpoint.

Now, the reason I feel that I cried as much as I did at your funeral, Grandpa Medardo, came not from the pain agony I observed in that Tunnel of Oppression. My sorrow, rather came from the troubling fact that an anger began to brew within me as it does when I think of injustice. All my life, I have come to a subtle and what some consider a selfish resolution: I am convinced that by taking a rationale stance towards the problems present in our world, I must simply LEAD BY EXAMPLE. The moment I feel that anger begins to spur at the thoughts of rape, or sexism, becomes the moment when I become no better than the ones who stereotype me—that in essence, becoming the entity of which I deplore.

For example, I will state that I am outraged at the events that occurred at the “South of the Border” party, but I realize that 1) it was a private, personal birthday party, 2) I had not been present at the event, and 3) America grants such actions of opinion, even if it stands as a hate crime in its pre-mature form. To my knowledge, after World War II, America allowed, meaning it did not ban the existence of the Nazi Socialisty Party to publicly represent themselves in the city of San Francisco, along with many other cities across the U.S. To this day, the Ku Klux Klan still carries out marches in states such as Ohio, Tennessee, and Kentucky, the most recent events spurring from the national problem of illegal immigration. Therefore, as much as I must hate the idea, this country must defend even what I consider unethical organizations, because we live in a developed country.

And the thought that my anger would take control of me, trying to change the views of racist or a homophobic makes me just as dishonorable as a sexist who would try and force me to believe that women are inferior to man. The author Charles Swindoll places my views in the brightest light, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” No matter what can come out of this experience for any Santa Clara student, the most lesson I gained teaches the value of a humble stance to hatred. I will not become outraged with the narrow-minded views of which I cannot change. I can merely embellish in my efforts to make sure I do not become such a person, by showing this world that a Tunnel of Hope ought not to appear as a place to observe, for that remains the sole purpose for the Tunnel of Oppression. Hope does not exist as a place for optimism, hope lives within the human mind as a form of action.

I help others to demonstrate human benevolence, because I hope that others will follow in that example. But, I cannot use anger as a force to scare people into kindness and sympathy. I believe we live long lives to learn this very lesson on our own.

I aim to live my life with a sense of appreciation just like you, Granpda. Because, even though your suffering as a prisoner of war could have created a man of resentment and of distrust, you lived a life of appreciation to eventually a family of five children, who kept your spirit alive. Today, I thought of you, Lolo, and I realize that at the end of every Tunnel of Oppression, I must withhold my sentiments of hatred and dispute, to discover the light towards that Tunnel of Hope, which leads directly towards you.

R.I.P. Grandpa,

~Justin L. Hester

The Perfect Gentleman?

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 10:11:05 PST

Dear BlogSCU,

My apologies about not posting last week, as I am expected. I can only say that my Valentine's Day went a notch above horrible, if a word could even fit such a experience.

I asked this girl if she would be my Valentine, and to my surprise she said yes. She received nothing less than me, but a funny, charming gentleman who treated her with utter benevolence while we were talking. But, as Valentine's Day approached, I did not expect such a tragic change would occur.

Those individuals who published the opinion that “Nice guys finish last” somehow knew it applied as a universal truth. I woke up on the morning of Valentine's, and I received a text message on my cell phone from this girl that in the same words or less, “Thank you for the gift! I think you're sweet and awesome, but I do not see you as more than a friend. Happy Valentine's Day...” When someone plays you like a fool, the mind wonders why the heart tries so valiantly to become closer to another only to experience rejection.

I have had experiences in relationships much like this for the last 4 years now, where a girl claims I am charming, hilarious, and fun to hang around with, yet they do not feel a romance between us. Every girl, all of different personalities and traits, and I realize—nice guys truly do finish last.

I think of how this holiday falls within Black History Month, and I recollect on my discovery how Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., although an honored civil rights leader, had been known to cheat on his wife while on the road having many affairs. I think of how Coretta Scott King put up with such malicious acts from the one she loved, and I find it hard to fathom how she still made an effort to remember him and his name after he passed away to name a U.S. Holiday after her husband. I think how unfair sincerity is taken for granted, and how a beautiful woman such Mrs. King deserved so much more stability. I think of this woman, and her courageous strength.

I think of the kind and the generous, and then I think of the people who do not truly value those efforts. Is that not what Valentine's Day asks us to appreciate in extent? So much do I hear complaints of the artificial marketing of this holiday, yet I do not see a single soul stand up and remove those narrow thoughts—and just love.

Love, without condition, because the people who love all year around do not get enough recognition for their actions. Love the people who take Valentine's Day as a way to remember the romance of life, much like how this nation uses Christmas to value the art of giving.

I am a nice guy, and often get my heart broken, due to my selfless affection for the opposite sex. But, this does not mean I would succumb to viewing Valentine's Day as a day to despise love. Because, like Coretta, I am an optimistic, and I will not complain. I will only appreciate the ones who love, setting an example for the lovers to come.

Happy Thoughts,

~Justin L. Hester

Today, I am...

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:57:39 PST

Today, I am a descendant of our Founding Fathers,

Today, I am truly an American citizen.

I am the following, red, white, and blue,

I am an American, just like you.

I challenge indifference for freedom,

Support the vote for fair rights,

When my community needs them.

Today, I am not just defined by my race,

Or the religion I face.

Today, I am an emblem of a nation,

Given the opportunity to legally live in this place.

Such a privilege I have at hand,

Remains so important to me.

More than to have a car, which I drive,

Or a ticket into clubs, with a California ID.

I am me.

And today, I am free.

Today, I am the American individual,

That I rightfully ought to be.

~Justin L. H.

Popular Belief

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 07:06:46 PST

To my adorable friend Kelly,

I bear witness to this sudden realization so new, yet so obvious. I am convinced that you and this experience as a writer for our Class of 2011 served as the first step I made into my new life at college. Through this, I can rightfully say that you remain one of the first friends I had made here at Santa Clara.

Although obvious, I find I should not overlook this subtle detail. Because recognizing our friendship embellishes my very understanding of college life. To make new friends, one must acquire the tenacity to strive beyond comfortable bounds, thus taking the risk in trying something new.

Permit me to admit, the original reason I aimed to earn this position as a blogSCU student focused on acquiring the free digital camera. Once I succeeded in achieving my goal, I confronted myself with a need to socialize my thoughts through these entries as well; and I have never been comfortable sharing my thoughts without an anticipation for criticism.

Writing these entries asks me to travel somewhere new, much like how college positions you in a new city and state in your pursuit of happiness. Therefore, you and I share many similar qualities, only I come to accept that I have more fun at my job than you might. Please know that my quantity of relationships consist of more worth than a quantity of friends to grant me the title of “Big Man on Campus.” I am content with my title, and for my first step into college, I would not like to bear such a title highly acclaimed to popular belief. I am simply, the well, unknown, appreciated

~Justin Lawrence Hester

Carry on Tradition

blogscu@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 01:08:07 PST

Dear Chris,

Just stopping by to say Happy early Birthday!! I cannot wait for the party tomorrow, pulling an all night event with you and the rest of the cousins again. College has been a breeze, besides the essays I have to write. I miss San Jose a lot, even though I enjoy Santa Clara.

Recently I ordered a Playstation One, and have been playing all those video games we used to play as teenagers in middle school. With all the new game systems out today, I feel traditional game play has lost its value. I believe I am at heart a very traditional individual, if many have not noticed from my writings by far. I would say I am conservative in the sense that I value tradition. Nothing can compare to the sentiments I experience from Super Nintendo or even the original Nintendo, with one of the first collections of Mario Bros.

Back in the day, I find being a kid raised more excitement in the simplest of items, and that the A, B, & C's incite more thrill without the need for a 18-button Xbox 360 controller.

“Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response.”

Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

Long live the Nintendo cartridge,

That would only work after that huff and puff...

~Justin L. Hester

The First Amendment

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 05:44:18 PST

Dear Rick,

I have begun to draw more frequently this quarter due to my art course in Basic Watercoloring. I completely forgot how the creative persona apart of me has helped to relieve with all the stress in college.

My new occupation on campus at Santa Clara consists of working as a cashier in Market Square and cleaning up the cafeteria after closing. Previously I used to make those cookies you used to buy almost everyday, if I recall correctly. Although, I do not have as much manual labor as I did last quarter, my new job requires me to become sociable with students even if their approach lasts for a mere 5 seconds.

The other night I went on my routinely skateboard run in front of the Benson Center, practicing my freestyle tricks. About an hour or so, a police officer comes up to me and asks if I am a student on campus. I tell him yes, and he responds with the clarification of the rules—Santa Clara University does not allow stunts and tricks to be performed on school campus, solely for the use of transportation.

I find it a coincidence that a topic such as this occurs during the weekend of Martin Luther King Day. A subject of my ethics respects the policies at hand, but like you always taught me, Rick, the right to speak the mind requires me to state my truth. I am convinced that I ought to have the authority to perform skateboard stunts, which I have been practicing and performing for many years in accordance with my skill level. At the beginning of the school year I turned in my medical papers to grant this University the access to my records in case I should face injury. However, perhaps I should have also signed a contract claiming that Santa Clara would not remain responsible for my injuries due to any activities, so that possibly I could participate in hobbies, which I take full responsibility of and its consequences.

I still skate, but under the shadows of the authority. I am convinced that I ought to obey the law, and prohibit from obstructing the justice of this particular policy, as I can see it protects the safety of other students at myself. But, I love to skate, and I will perform my own injustices even if that causes conflict with other authorities. Dr. King once wrote, “I submit that an individual who breaks the law that conscience tells him is unjust and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law”. Therefore, I will propose that I have knowledge of the consequences of what I do, but confess that as much as I respect such an awkward policy, I shall continue to disobey such an injustice.

Salamat,

~Justin L. Hester

Friends We Have Lost, True Friends Forgotten

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 10:36:09 PST

Dear Jessica V.,

My first week back at school felt great. Seeing you at the mall reminded me of how much I decided to work hard to stay in Santa Clara. This quarter I purchased my books on time and am glad to say I am prepared to accomplish all of my academic tasks. Do you remember that park we both went to up on the Evergreen Hills? I took a jog up there before school started and had a lot run through my mind.

I first thought about the way life has turned out for both of us, how you serve as such an important source of motivation. All this time of reliance, and how you would always call upon me to secure you throughout your sorrow. I thought about all this, and I asked myself why I am in college. Previously, I had presumed my inspiration arose in pleasing you, or my parents. To satisfy others, I always attributed myself as a selfless individual. But, being up on that hill all alone, I had no one to satisfy. I felt different knowing that this new year would not include my past friends upon whom I relied upon.

2008 consists of less moments, which I feel I will give others a helping hand. Although this may sound selfish, I at least now have the confidence in saying that I am not doing this for you.

The first week of school went far better than expected, and I plan on keeping it all that way. I am eating healthier, and working out more often; I plan on holding true to such a certain lifestyle. I am Justin Lawrence Hester, not just your best friend. And I am thankful for you giving me the opportunity to grow. My high school English teacher told me I had the potential to become a great writer, and now I simply realize, the path to achieving greatness involves recognizing and telling the self that it is alright to have an integrity to live as the best you can possible be.

Goodbye, Jess-ka,

~Just-in L. Hester

The Definition of a Great Man

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:09:51 PST

Dear Claire,

After the end of this last quarter, I am convinced I myself have evolved into something new; I have been working on developing a higher quality of trends for my own benefit, rather than for any other individuals. This transition feels strange due to the values Bellarmine had enacted upon me in high school—that is, to live as a Man for Others.

My actions have always held benevolence in their state, but after this you and other sources have made me realize an ideal I seemed to overlook: A man for others must first develop into a man to help others in need.

This holiday break, my grandfather passed away. He was possibly the strongest man I ever knew, serving 30 years in the U.S. Navy and experienced 3 years as a Prisoner of War in the cruel Bataan Death March. Only through suffering, could a man appreciate life, were the words I could envision every time I looked into his eyes. It brings a tear to my heart to see such a happy man become victim to pain and torment. However, during his last few months in the hospital, he hardly ever illustrated that pain.

I spent a lot of time with the family over this break, knowing that I ought to appreciate the ones closest to me. I have made up lost times with my father, apologizing for my actions and flaws. And in remembrance of my grandfather, I made a New Years Resolution I promise to hold to for these years to come.

New Years Eve the family came together at my aunt's house eating and singing karaoke, when I thought of how much I wished my grandfather had been present. But, I know time must bid to continue on, and I will never forget my grandfather, so for his I resolve to remain confident in myself through this new year of 2008. No longer should I doubt my capability to accomplish my academic objectives, or to say that I am not important in a social conversation. I am my grandpa, but only I do not completely realize this yet.

You and I used to always have conversation about your problems, and I can only say to you that the words I have aimed to help you ease your mind cannot help you unless you expect to apply them to your life. As for me, I will start to advise myself of the advice I need to reach the potential I have long been avoiding to achieve.

R.I.P. Medardo Sebastion 1918 – 2007

~Justin “Justen” Hester

Broken Camera

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 10:10:45 PST

Dear Rick,

Thank you for letting me stay at your house over the upcoming break, you have always been the best friend I could count on since elementary school days. And I will continue to motivate myself with those artistic dialects of ours.

Speaking or art, however, I happened to break the camera those blogSCU coordinators provided for me. You may not see from there, but I hold this sad visage at the moment for my clumsiness. The camera dropped on the floor out of my grips, and that little flap holding the batteries does not close all the way. So, every time the camera turns on, the LCD screen reads “Empty Battery.” Hopefully I will find a place in San Jose to get the hinge fixed. But, until then, wish me luck, Rick, on all my finals.

See you soon!

Amigos hasta la ultima de vida,

~Justin “Lester” Hester

The Greatest Dad

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:24:41 PST

Dear Grandpa,

You look very well, I see that you have been fighting as always for your health. I had hoped the family might have had the chance to celebrate Thanksgiving with you at Aunt Gina's house, but we all made the effort to visit you in the nursing home. For this, I am thankful.

Later that night I played Nintendo Wii with Chris Allen, two good cousins catching up with one another. I must say I felt wonderful spending the night in my hometown again, if only for one night. The next day I spent time with my middle school friends home in San Jose for Thanksgiving break as well. My mom also had an opening shift that morning at the mall, I think. JcPenneys looked packed when I went to the mall, so I did not want to bother her at her cash register. My friends and I watched Stephen King's movie, The Mist, a great thiller and a critical interpretation on religious faith as well. But, I digress on the events of my vacation.

This weeked I started working out again; I have realized watching those individuals in the Capoeira club that I need to return to my former level of strength, flexibility, and stamina. I hope that I will continue this routine throughout the two upcoming quarters and so forth. Also, I must find a place to perform my Tai Chi in the morning again.

Please keep on pushing through, Lolo. I will continue to pray for you and your health.

Mahal kita,

~Justin L. Hester

Quiet Halls

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:04:28 PST

Dear Stephanie,

I regret not walking to Valley Fair Mall yesterday. Who would have known the infamous Paris Hilton would shop on a weekend in the Silicon Valley? Hopefully other opportunities like this arise in the future while I am here nearby at Santa Clara to see any other celebrities.

Last night felt so lonely, as everybody in my hall left for home this Thanksgiving break. I chose to stay in the dorms until later into the week, meaning I have a few days to clean up and reorganize my entire lifestyle before the start of Winter Quarter. I plan on starting to workout more frequently to lose the couple pounds I feel I have gained over the few months.

People think I am crazy, but I am trying to bench press 310 lb. by my Junior year to increase my breakdance training. It seems like a longshot, but anything can be possible with commitment. I have to structure my workout schedule, because I do not want to just go to the gym with an arbitrary objective.

Tonight I am going to watch a movie at Eastridge Mal, you ought to tag along. There aren't too many movies out at the moment I am excited to go see. But, anything seems great if only in the interest of getting to see old friends.

Maganda kita,

~Justin L. Hester

Lose Myself

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:12:36 PST

Dear Addi,

Thank you for coming by to spend time with me yesterday; you always have a way of becoming the highlight of my night. Tonight our Unity RLC hosted a Thanksgiving Dinner in the basement of Walsh. The line began to disperse up the stairs up to the first floor, and this started during the first half hour!

I am glad to have been a part of Unity Council, because my involvement in the group granted me a spot in the front of the line. I arrived back to my dorm at 6 o' clock, eating turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, (with a little salad), reminiscing on all the Thanksgivings past.

At 8pm, I will be attending a Hypnotist performance in the basement of Benson. You of all people know how much I love magic and demonstrations of awe and spectacle. Maybe if you have time tonight, you would like to see it with me. I am sure you would be the only person around to appreciate this type of entertainment as much as I would.

Salamat salahat,

~Justin “Ramune” Hester

Reality ME

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:03:05 PST

Dear Monica,

I thank you for your all your sincerity and support. I realize I am not adjusting to college very well. There appears to remain many concerns that I have failed to resolve. The academic advisor I had spoken to today stated clearly that if I do not acquire total of 32 units in the next two quarters, I will experience probation from further academic progress. Also, next quarter I will not start as an Undergraduate Sophmore, but instead as a returning Freshman.

My father sure does know me too well. I accepted admission into Santa Clara, because I believed in myself. Now it seems that belief has become doubt. To feel the lack of motivation upon one's self, wiring into the mentality that I exist as a nobody. I feel, incomplete. I miss my best friend dearly, more than these words could attempt to express.*

Please know that I do not condemn others for my failures, for the blame rests entirely upon me. Yet, accepting my own blame does not feel to accomplish; knowing I am wrong does not revert the effects of my mentality. I need what those intelligent believers in faith call, intervention. Whether it appears in the form of a selfless friend to constantly assure me everything will begin to lighten up, or a lucky penny to bring about the defying hope of good luck in the time to come.

I pray for a sign; I pray for redemption. I ask for motivation, because at the moment, solely believing in myself has only put me this far, and this far I have only continued to travel in a direction opposite of my aim in upward success.

Andito ako para tulungan ka,

~Justin L. Hester

Love Letter to Nobody

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:23:36 PST

Dear Claire,

I thought I ought to write this letter, considering I had assumed prior to this you would never read any of these words. But, my mind has a lot to let go of before I allow it to exacerbate any further.

I found myself starting to like you over the past couple of weeks. It may have resulted from the comfort you provided me with your company, the trust I hear in your voice, or possibly the hugs you give me before I fall asleep. All I can comprehend as of now consists with questions such as, would my feelings affect our friendship? Am I ready to date someone outside of my ethnicity? And, do you even feel slightly the same way?

My studies, I admit, require more concern than these lesser problems of sentiment. But, realize, the mind must clarify and resolve the thoughts preventing further development in order to achieve success.

You must feel awkward towards me, I am sure of it, Claire. And for this, I hold as my reason to why I keep this letter as a secret—which must indefinitiely make me your very own crush.

Love can transpose to form and dignity.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;

And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.

I am a selfless adolscent, and would rather keep the better interest of my rationale to better my emotions. So, in my eyes withholding my jealousy for all those other guys, and rather taking up the vocation as a great friend bears no consequences I am afraid to receive.

I care about you, and I would never say a word I do not intend to display. Whenever you need my help, I will be there. Because, I know everything happens for its own mysterious reason, unfolding in its own mysterious way.

Bahala na,

~Justin “Lester” Hester

The Last BBoy

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:28:49 PST

Dear Lovely,

The last couple of weeks, I have been submerging myself back into my long forgotten hobby of breakdancing. The conditioning involved has kept me in shape and awake during the last weeks of school; I am still missing one vital component, though, through it all. I need an inspiration, an essence of hope or faith. When I used to dance, I would dance for Jesska. But, it's been months since we've spoken, and Lord knows I miss her with more than my heart could illustrate.

I have been given a lot of time to focus on my own entity, rather than others; you always taught me that individuality serves as the key to true expression. It must be that time to work on the little kid I have forgotten about deep in the soul of this college freshman—7-year-old Justin Hester.

Someday I aim to perform in the Bronco, but I do not anticipate that to occur this year, though. When next year arrives, I will have hoped to earn a reputation not just simply as a dancer, as a magician, or as an artist. I would like to have comfort in knowing I held a legacy as a dedicate individual, to his passions, those qualities which served as a way to define him, and define him in his own unique way.

Also, I found in my surprise to see Mrs. Arora at the Adobe Lounge earlier this week. She reminds me of your mother, Lovely, and she recognized me from these entries. I never listed public recognition as one of my goals at this university, but I am glad a friendly face does come to recognize me so every often.

Mabuti naman, salamat po,

~J. Lawrence H.

For Life We Will

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:48:00 PST

Dear Marco,

I am truly sorry to hear about the circumstances between you and your father; please know that I am praying for you each and every night. Understand that you are not alone, and as brothers we always hold on to our friendship. I will always be here for whatever, whenever, wherever.

That Manny Pacquiao fight we watched last weekend reminded me a lot of you, in that you continue to preservere through all these trials and tribulations, constantly keeping your head up amongst the rainfall. I know you'll make it, I believe in you more than you or anyone else could ever know. That, I find, is what blood brothers are for.

Always remember, “To be great is to be misunderstood,” the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, so that whenever worst comes to worst, you will hold tight to individuality. I am glad you will be staying at your aunt's house, because she lives right by my dorm. When we start to hang out, be sure to help me work out, so I can pull off those breakdancing moves I showed you in that on-line video. Take care of yourself, my man. Have a good week at school, and just stay strong. I know you can rise up and get through it.

Mahal kita,

~J. Lawrence H.

To the Lovely and the Adorable

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 04:58:15 PST

Dear Tiffanie,

Our late night conversations always leave me with a warm feeling inside. I find myself looking forward to them every night. I pray your trip to Southern California went well. This weekend, I have begun to start conditioning in order to advance my strength level in breakdancing. This new goal all started when I discovered a new array of dancers in the country of Korea who have demonstrated a far higher limit to the human body than I had ever understood.

How long have you been dancing? I recall the last time you came to visit at Santa Clara University, you would often break out into dance, which would then be followed by the soft humming of pop music. I have been breakdancing since 5^th grade: an outlet of expression, I would always call it.

Someday, you and I will start to make independent films like the ones we have seen by Wong Fu Productions. Those college students from UC San Diego create simply astounding videos with substance I find so readily unavailable in many mainstream films on screen. I plan on taking my hobby of photography further once I can afford a more professional camera; as of now, I must focus on the fundamentals and various techniques for my certain style.

Well, I cannot wait to talk to you online later. But, if you should come back too tired from your weekend trip, I wish you the sweetest of dreams, and a great week back at school.

Anong bago?,

~Justin L. H.

Like Teacher, Like Student

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 10:22:59 PST

Dear Mrs. Chapman,

Visiting you and Bellarmine College Preparatory resulted in a long needed retrospect on my academic roots. I used to perform so well in your English classes; now, it seems, I have succumb to the intimidation of college life. During the first three weeks of the quarter, everyone studied while I sat in my room dumbfounded about the processes of book ordering, study habits, and all the while, everyone still made enough time to socialize every Wednesday night.

I drink a lot of Chai Tea Lattes in the morning, because I held this horrible habit of falling asleep while taking notes in lecture: I even have the drowsy scribbles in my Chemistry notebook to prove it. The sight of your lovely countenance reminded me of the confidence you bestowed unto me for my excellence in writing, and through this I have developed a strong interest to either select a major in Communications, or ponder a future vocation as a high school teacher.

I realize I had forgotten to mention that I have also decided on a minor in Studio Art. I want to expand my level of expression beyond the realm of literature and poetry into a selective poetry of its own. Photography, drawing, and painting all pose as possible hobbies I would like to dedicate my leisure time here at Santa Clara. I pray perhaps in the upcoming Winter Quarter, I will have established an organized and operational schedule for myself, which would provide me with enough time to join a club in any of my listed activities.

Mrs. Chapman, you might never know how much I value the time and effort you have placed into the package I have taken to comfort me through this Freshman year in college. But, because of you, I am convinced I have been directed in the right direction. I will be sure to visit again sometime soon; until then, I pray you do well, and take your kind heart to continue to share your benevolence with others.

Maraming Salamat,

~J. Lawrence H.

Breaking Barriers, When it All Falls Apart

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 06:41:33 PST

Dear Father,

The last time we talked, I did not leave us on a good note; I left for college without saying goodbye. I am simply stopping by say—you were right. Five weeks into my first quarter, and I am already six feet under.

I failed two of my midterms, and in result, I have opted to drop one of these courses in order to promote more time and effort in the other. I highly doubt I will continue on with my Biology major, but that seems as no surprise from me as I have always been prone to give up on new objectives the instant I start to get the ball rolling. A decision remains at hand for me. I would like to give up, and transfer to some community college. Yet, I believe in myself, over all other conceptions, that I have the integrity to overcome.

Should you ever come to read this, however, please know that I have fallen. In my first stride through college, I have fallen. With the circumstances presented to me, I did not make the most efficient choices. But, I will not see my first fall as my last destination. Like the famous Japanese proverb states,”Fall seven times, get up eight.” Let this stand as a demonstration of my humanity, to make mistakes, and successfully learn from them. So, I will leave you this time with a good note. Dad, I love you, and I will make it over this hill for mom, and for you.

Mahal kita,

~Justin Lawrence Hester

Childhood Friends

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 10:48:04 PST

Dear Jesska,

Remember that song we used to sing together by Tony Bennett; I found myself singing, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” the other day. My friends and I took a late night weekend trip along the Caltrain and arrived in The Golden Gate City. Having time away from the dorms served as a breath of fresh air, because your own place begins to develop into a cardboard box* My friend Alex and I found ourselves fed up with the uphill slope of San Francisco streets. To pass the time, he began singing—literally breaking into song in the middle of the night; from Peaches & Herb to Chris Brown.

We arrived back to the campus around four in the morning, via carpool with a fellow Santa Clara friend returning from another party in The City. I felt like visiting you back in San Jose that weekend, but I decided maybe another time. I have been taking a lot of photography pictures with this digital camera I received from Santa Clara University. But, I disappoint myself , because I do not find myself drawing as much as I had back when we would write in our journal together.

I finally received my books from the bookstore, so a lot of burden has been removed from my shoulders. Unfortunately, the arrival came during the same week as midterms. I will remain honest with myself, I did not do well on those due to a lack a preparation. But, for every circumstance that results in a fall, there remains the determined choice to rise back up. With my new books at hand, I feel like I have been handed an arsenal of power; I will choose to keep on fighting for you, Jessbest*, even if drains every last ounce out of me just to catch up.

You have always been my inspiration, and I find I am not capable of repaying you in equal return for the love you have given to me. But, please know that I think of you often, and continue to pray you are doing well back home.

Salamat sa lahat,

~Justin “Justbest” L. Hester

A Letter to an Important Woman

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 09:08:57 PST

Dear Mom,

I find it hard at times to adapt to such a new lifestyle here at Santa Clara. The events presented within my RLC community hardly shine on a similar light to those karaoke nights with the family, or the BBQs at Tita Tessie's house. My senses could never forget the smell of home.

Sometimes I compare my days to a Post-it note: I start out as an empty canvas preparing for a list of tasks and objectives I assign myself throughout the day, leaving no time for even the thought of leisure. Then every night I dispose of myself as I lie in bed listening to a muse of silence, only to find another Post-it note with a fate I have predetermined the next morning. I am convinced change does not come easy, I catch myself searching for that familiar scent—Sana'y maulit muli.

My books have not been processed, nor ever confirmed for that matter. The decision I have come to has settled upon seizing this setback, and for the time being have taken the matter into my own hands. Three times in the last two weeks I have taken bus trips to downtown San Jose in order to borrow the course novels I could find at the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Library; I have a lot of time alone on those blue passenger seats.

My roommate, Eric, possesses such a great charisma about him. It either comes from his personality, his intuition, or some mixture of both, which provides him with the integrity to make each day interesting. Just the other day he attended a Unity event where he received a Chia pet of some sort (his way of bringing more color into the room). We named her Ye Junior, aka “Little Korea,” based on the name of our next door neighbor, the very beautiful Korean girl from Hawaii, Ye Rin. I must say the new pet spreads this aura of youth and excitement, but no matter how much people admire the new dorm addition, I feel the need to give my kudos to such a great roommate.

I miss you, mom.

Whenever I organize my thoughts onto my sticky pad, I always wish maybe sometime soon I will display an agenda not so monotonous as these latter weeks have demonstrated. I wish I would have tasks such as: Enjoy a movie with the best friend, find a club to join during the free time, or even, a ask the gorgeous girl down the hall on a date. I find it in my best interests, however, to accustom my time for a schedule outlined with good study habits, so that in future quarters soon to come, I will have already formulated a functional layout to squeeze in new activities with no harm.

For now, though, I simply like to sing myself occasionally, and order a BBQ Chicken pizza late at night. Home does not appear so far away, as long as the human mind can remember. Remember those things that define his character, and inspire him to keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

Maganda kita,

“I Love you”

~Justin L. Hester

My First Blog

blogSCU@scu.edu (Justin Hester) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:32:17 PST

Behind every great man lies a great woman. She serves as the wings to our higher ground, and operates as the blood running through our veins. I am convinced, had I never met a great woman, I would not have the privilege to deem my presence here at Santa Clara University as anywhere near to greatness.

Moving into my dorm during Welcome Weekend had both its pros and cons. I allowed the anxiety inside to take over and keep me awake for quite some time the night before. The anticipation for independence can numb the thoughts of responsibilities, weariness, or hunger. But, the moment my mother knew that the goodbyes came at hand, the departure from a mother seems to outweigh any excitement for the approach of freedom.

My mother believed I could achieve my dreams in college, out of all the pessimism I had absorbed prior to her goodbye hug. Having her confidence in my success assured me of the simple self-qualities I may have overlooked—that is, I have a certain potential. I possess the potential to belong in a Jesuit community as a Filipino-American, the potential to learn just as well as any other student attending this University. And the event of saying my farewells to one of the most benevolent women in my life dissected a piece of my heart, which felt impossible to retain.

The first week of college challenged my patience, as the books I ordered on-line still had not been received by the SCU textbook department; and my expressive outlet of Tai Chi and drawing became my only way of staying sane as I sought out others from whom to borrow my course books.

I thought I would lose control in the first sprint of my freshman year, dropping my Biology major requirements and declaring myself Undeclared, then there she arrived.

It might have been her eyes, or possibly the voice I remembering often calling over the sumer, but this girl from Orientation brought out sentiment within me amongst all this irritation for my college troubles. Jessica N, she introduced herself by the name Jessica N. When I would carry out conversations with her, topics regarding any thought to come to my mind, a sense of comfort and tranquility entered the room from all directions.

A couple nights ago, I had an emotional breakdown: the sum of my homesickness, the worries about my late book order, and most all, the distance away from my mother. She stayed up with me to listen as I poured out my heart and soul. She jokes around a lot, but it seems sometimes laughter truly does serve as the best medicine.

It has been a week and three days; I am still waiting for my books, I still do Tai Chi, and I still miss my mother. But, after a week and three days, I have begun to realize that as much as I miss her, I can still make her proud. I know I am proud to have friends like Jessica, who remind that greatness lies just a bit further up the path. For her, and for my mother, I stand here to let them know that I recognize the greatness you possess, and have passed on down to me. Behind every great man, there isa comfort in knowing that I am not alone*