Jehan Sadat Reflects on Working Toward Peace
Every
day, somewhere in this world, there are mothers and fathers
and children who are being challenged by the environment
in which they live, struggling to survive with limited or,
in some cases, no access to education, health care, and
employment. In the worst situations, there are families
trying to exist without proper food, shelter, and clothing,
things that most of us take for granted. And in every nation,
there are families drowning in despair, because they have
lost faith, thus allowing the ordinary problems of life
to creep into their minds and souls, devouring them from
within, stripping away their ability to love and care for
each other. If only these despondent souls understood that
we are all imperfect human beings on the same journey from
this life to the next. If only they accepted that with God,
they could deal with the trials and tribulations of this
life with fortitude and courage. When my husband decided
to follow the path of peace, we both knew the risk he would
be taking. We both knew that whatever
he did would change our life forever.
Without God, without the family, mankind is lost, left
to wander and stumble blindly in a wilderness of desperation.
Without God, we will never be able to realize the beauty
of peace and the wholeness of life. When the family is sound
and the relationship between its members is rooted firmly
in mutual love, trust, respect, and dignity, then, and only
then, can the entire community hope to be strong and weather
the storms of life. Under any other conditions, society,
no matter how developed or how prosperous, is doomed.
Having divided my time between Egypt and the United States
for the past fifteen years, I have become quite comfortable
with the American way of life. But I must tell you that
at first I felt like I had landed on another planet. It
is to Egypt, however, that I must turn in order to illustrate
my religious, cultural, and social attitudes toward the
family. To us, the center of life is the family, an attitude
validated by the depictions of daily activities that are
found on our ancient temple walls and in our museums.
From our agrarian background, we developed strong bonds
to the land and to the family, creating within us a deep
sense of social responsibility that is prevalent in our
modern way of life. The holy month of Ramadan best illustrates
this. No one can grow up in such an atmosphere and become
immune to the condition of life for others. As we say in
Egypt, "Paradise without people is not worth the having."
When a Westerner describes the family, he is speaking
of the father, mother, and children. But when an Egyptian
speaks of family, he means the father, mother, children,
aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and scores of cousins. And
there are no strangers in Egypt. Everyone is generously
welcomed, whether by a rich uncle in Cairo or a distant
and poor cousin in Aswan. We think of ourselves as belonging
to one big family.
Like families everywhere, the Egyptian family has had
to adjust and adapt to the times; nevertheless, our bonds
of family run deep and wide. We rely upon each other in
happiness and in pain. I could have never survived the sorrow
of losing my husband without the love and support of my
family. By the same token, the weddings of my children and
the birth of each of my eleven grandchildren gave cause
for celebration. I would not be doing what I am doing now
without the support of my family. As Egypt continues to
develop, the rituals of family life will naturally change.
They will not, however, be replaced or forgotten. We will
never allow our ties to family and our connection to the
land to be completely and permanently broken.
Although the world has undergone many changes, both good
and bad, in the past century, change need not imply the
loss of traditional values. Nor is progress another word
for moral decay. It is not development and progress which
jeopardize values and morality but rather the absence of
a strong and secure moral foundation developed first and
foremost in the family. Surely, it is possible for one to
enjoy the conveniences of modern life-airplanes and automobiles,
computers and cell phones, microwaves and VCRs-without losing
one's sense of values. When we love God, love our families,
we can enjoy life without betraying the practices of decency,
without abandoning the traditions of our cultures.
To me, tradition is the accumulation of past experiences,
social standards, and technology and is, therefore, dynamic
in nature. For a society to be fully developed, it must
comprehend and accept the relevance of both social and religious
traditions to the welfare of its people. My religion, Islam,
is more than 1,444 years old; yet it remains a living system
of beliefs, setting forth the principles and code of ethics
that have sustained and will sustain generation after generation
of believers. This is also true of the other great religions
whose codes of conduct are practiced today. Compassion,
integrity, justice, tolerance, and love do not belong to
one people or religion, nor will they ever become irrelevant
and obsolete.
The holy book of Islam, the Qur'an, clearly prescribes
how we are to treat each other, especially parents. It tells
us to be kind to them, obeying, respecting, and loving them,
with an attitude of humility and tenderness. Treatment of
parents is second only to the worship of God. And mothers
hold a very special place. . . . Mothers are the ones who
give us life, carrying us for nine months, enduring great
pain to bring us into the world. They are our first teachers,
giving us the lessons and values we will carry for the rest
of our lives. A mother's greatest gift to her society is
a righteous son or daughter. Our prophet said, "Heaven
lies at the feet of mothers."
It is also written that if our parents attain old age
in our homes, then we are to show them no sign of impatience
or reproach, but rather speak to them with kind words. When
caring for our parents, we are being given the opportunity
to show our own children how they are to treat us. Through
our example, they will learn how to act toward us when we
are in the same stage of life. In fact, they will also learn
how to treat all of their elders.
Behavior in marriage is also addressed in Islam. The relationship
between a husband and wife is one of God's signs; therefore,
there should be an atmosphere of peace and quiet, kindness
and mercy between husband and wife. The Qur'an states, "Your
wives are your inner garments and you are their inner garments."
This does not mean that a spouse is as common and ordinary
as a favorite sweater, but rather each partner is to protect
and cover the mistakes of the other. Husband and wife should
never expose the deficiencies and shortcomings of the other
but rather complement and beautify each other. The foundations
of the marriage are nourished by loyalty and love, growing
ever stronger with experiences and wisdom that only time
can bring.
In Islam, men and women bear the same responsibility toward
God, thus each must account for individual deeds. Within
marriage and the family, each has a particular role and
function to play. Man is the head of the family and has
the duty to fend and care for his wife and children, while
the woman is to be queen in her home. It is her duty to
raise her children properly, assuring their education and
instilling the correct values, nourishing them not only
with the food of the flesh but also the food of the soul,
which is love and faith in God. This does not mean that
the husband plays no part in the development of his children
or that he is superior to his wife. Never! Husband and wife
must work together, in a loving way, in order to bring peace
and happiness to the family. Sometimes, however, the marriage
may fail, and they must divorce, but children should not
suffer because their parents cannot live together in harmony.
My husband came from a village not far in kilometers from
Cairo but worlds apart in style-what one would call primitive,
with large, poor families and limited resources. To the
casual observer, Sadat's life was full of hardships and
empty of opportunities. But in reality, his was a life overflowing
with love, faith, and family. My husband wrote, "I
could never turn against or show the least lack of loyalty
to my family, since this is in sharp contradiction with
the family values I was brought up on-the values that continue
to sustain my lifeblood and determine my mental life more
effectively than anything else. Indeed, the faith I have
in these values deepens day after day, so much that I have
come to believe that only adherence to such values can save
society-that there can be hope only for a society which
acts as one big family and not as many separate ones."
The same was true for me in Cairo.
Salam, peace, is at the very core of Islam, which places
great emphasis on democracy, compassion, justice, tolerance,
and the sanctity of the family. It was Sadat's uncompromising
faith in God and his love for the people, Arabs and Israelis,
that led him on the path to peace in the Middle East. For
peace, he paid with his life. And for peace, my children
lost their father, and I lost my husband. Despite the years
of grief we have endured and the emptiness left forever
in our family, we have no regrets for what Anwar Sadat did
for Egypt, Israel, and the whole world. We are proud to
be his family, proud to know that he gained his place in
history by being a man of peace.
My husband also wrote: "In Mit Abut Kum . . . I learned
something else that has remained with me all my life; the
fact that wherever I go, wherever I happen to be, I shall
always know where I really am.
I can never lose my way because I know that I have living
roots there, deep down in the soil of the village, in that
land out of which I grew."
I feel the same. No matter where I may go in this world,
Egypt is my breath, and my family is the beating of my heart.
My love for my family, my country, and my God gives wholeness
and peace to my life. The love given me by my children,
grandchildren, and Anwar Sadat gives me great satisfaction,
pride, and happiness. I will leave you today with this final
thought: Preservation of the family is the enactment of
God's will and is, therefore, the promotion of peace that
brings the wholeness and happiness of life.
May God fill your homes with love and our world with peace.
Biography
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