Who's Calling Me?

Molly Walker, a sophomore and campus ministry eucharistic ministry intern, shares her answer to the question, "Who Is Calling Me?" from this week's Weekly Wednesday Worship.

Hello, I’m Molly Walker, a sophomore, Undeclared Business major. I am the Eucharistic Ministry Intern for Campus Ministry and it is an honor to be here speaking with you guys tonight. Tonight’s topic is focused around “Who’s Calling Me?” The question that I have been trying to get answered for a couple of years now. I am definitely one to believe that we each are being called individually to live out different purposes on this Earth. But it gets pretty frustrating when I don’t even know my own purpose. I’m sure we all have struggled or are struggling with that question sometimes every day in college.

I was raised in the Catholic Church from Day One. I went through the sacraments from Baptism, First Communion, Reconciliation, to Confirmation. I think I was like every little kid when I dreaded going to church on Sundays. Well I went from being that kid to the teenager that was surprisingly excited about her faith. I am lucky to have come from a great church with an even better youth ministry program. I got involved by being a leader on middle school and high school retreats and even gave talks at Women’s Retreats. I thrived on being around people of faith and loved sharing mine.
Coming to Santa Clara, I knew it was going to be a different way I would live out my faith. I thought a Jesuit University would have tons of people just like me, enthused about their religion and ready to share it with anyone. Well I think I had a unique freshmen experience because I got a rude awakening. I had the stereotypical roommate problems which ended in me moving out. I lived in Dunne, not knowing that that was the more “lively” side of campus. I was out of my bubble and in a whole new kind of world. I felt right away that I didn’t really fit in with everyone else’s interests or what they liked to do. I did not want to go and change who I was just to fit what everyone else was because it just felt unnatural and at the end of the day, I felt empty. I didn’t feel like I was being the woman God called me to be. I started going to a Christian Girls Group called Wonderfully Made while all of this was going on and it was the best one hour and thirty minutes a week a girl could imagine. I felt free of all the worries college has to offer, I could breathe and just be. These girls are some of the girls on campus with the biggest, most genuine hearts. The transition to college would have been even harder if I didn’t have this support group. I suddenly felt like I was not alone in the way I was feeling. I always left the group meetings feeling built up and confident in who I was supposed to be.
I realized towards the end of Freshmen year that God placed me on this campus to go against the norm, to be the outlier, the person going against the flow. I wasn’t made to be like everyone else. I was made to live out a unique purpose. It may not be easy, and I sure know it wasn’t. But that’s what makes it so worthwhile. Knowing that not everyone is going through the same things I went through, but knowing that I was made to fulfill a purpose fit to me.  I was made to help those who feel like no one is there and understands them. Sometimes it feels like there is a cookie cutter image of what a college student should be. But I am not the exact replica of that, and I know there are some people out there who feel the same way. I feel called to live out my faith and be a light for those who need it. I have had many people to look up to and learn from when going through my experiences. I want to be that person for someone else.
I may not know what my major is going to be or where I want to possibly Study Abroad. But I do know that I am here at Santa Clara to live out a calling from God that has been made specifically and only for me. We all have these callings waiting for us, it is how we choose to embrace it that will make a lasting impression on this campus.
reflection,freshman year,faith